Burnout and Mental Health: The Hidden Struggle of the Sandwich Generation
Written by Rubie McKeever-Smith on 23rd December 2024
The sandwich generation, a term used to describe individuals who are simultaneously raising children and caring for elderly parents, is facing increasing challenges as this demographic continues to grow.
In the UK, 1.3 million people in their 40s and 50s are juggling the demands of supporting multiple generations. Balancing the needs of children and ageing parents leaves little time for self-care, which is taking a significant toll on their mental health.
This is becoming a bigger and bigger issue as numbers increase. According to a 2019 government report, more than one in four sandwich carers report symptoms of mental ill-health. Although not drastic enough to affect day-to-day living, these mental difficulties may include feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, anger and feeling burned out.
Obviously, these issues are as important as any. However, sandwich carers often ignore them, or push them to the side, due to the immense amount of weight already on their shoulders. There’s no time for them. Even if there was, quite often adults would rather put everyone and everything else before their own issues instead of dealing with the guilt of doing something for themselves for a change.
Kirsty McIntyre, mum, carer, and full-time worker, said: “I was too busy caring for my mother and son as their needs seemed so much more important to me as I love them both dearly. I felt guilty if I wasn’t there for them, even if my husband took up caring. My own mental well-being was never really addressed. I love both my son and mum so much that they always came first. I have socialised less, spent more time at home and always put their needs above my own, so much that I have forgotten what my own needs are.”
It is important to understand the impact a sandwich carer has on the people they’re caring for. From a child’s perspective, it can be difficult to see your parent struggle so much.
Finlay McIntyre, son of Kirsty McIntyre, said: “I’d see her be visually stressed, there were times when she would take herself off to be by herself. She was always too headstrong to mention anything to me because she thought I was dealing with my own issues. I never learnt about her struggles until years later. She didn’t want me to worry. She always put us first and left herself on the back burner.”
Parents do, more likely than not, have this mentality. They want to support their child and their own parents as if it is their job to do so. Frequently, they won’t relinquish control. They won’t be supported by choice, only support those that need them.
Aside from family and friends, there is much more help out there than you’d expect. Managers and business leaders are there to recognise the extracurricular responsibilities and support as best as they can. They do this by emphasising honest and open communication, encouraging everyone to ask for help when needed, sign-posting mental health support and showing vulnerability.
The most important thing to remember is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength to realise when you need help and to do everything you can to make sure everyone’s needs are met.
Onebright is a mental health company, with over 3,000 clinicians and clinical venues that works with many businesses offering mental health audits and training in tackling the challenges the sandwich generation faces to make all workspaces more inclusive. Their mental health experts work with teams to understand employee needs and ensure that management teams are trained to recognise early warning signs and provide support. There is the hope that sandwich carers get the help they need, but this will come with time. There are forms you can fill out on their website if you need to get in touch: Company Website: https://onebright.com/
Onebright contact number: +44 20 7785 7383