REVIEW: Nick Helm – No One Gets Out Alive
Written by Lucas Ward on 5th November 2025
Nick Helm reached the halfway point of his national ‘No One Gets Out Alive’ tour (a name he admits to having struggled to sell as well as his last, the significantly more positively titled ‘Nick Helm’s Super Fun Good Time Show’) at The Stand in Newcastle on November 4 and his quality remains clear to see.
Since making a name for himself at the Fringe back in 2010, a slew of TV appearances, tours and hit comedy songs have ensured this man is never far from having something new out in the world. His latest offering is one of his most heartfelt, hilarious, and expletive-ridden yet. He began the show with a sort of preamble, introducing the audience to the idea of the show as a whole and how he believes Newcastle to be the 5th best city to perform in (a ranking that slowly rose as the show progressed, although never quite reaching the heights of top position).
Photo credit: Lucas Ward
When the show properly began, he started by explaining how his struggles with mental health started as a child, when he would be bullied for his weight by his peers at school. He passes the blame partly onto his mother for allowing him to give them the ammunition by sending him to a fancy dress party dressed as a pig. He went on to explain in more detail how frequent visits to the local cinema introduced him to all the classic characters (Commando, Rambo, The Nutty Professor), and told a story about getting his first apartment, thanks in part to the ginormous mirror in the upstairs bedroom. His set was frequently interrupted by coughing and sneezing in the audience, which led to Helm holding an impromptu ‘cough amnesty’ as he encouraged all in the audience to do one cough together, before continuing with the show. It is these throw-away moments, and constant callbacks to earlier material, that keep the audience on their toes, thanks to Nick Helm’s comedic ability and quick wit.
Being a primarily music-based comedian, it wouldn’t be a Nick Helm gig without a few songs and audience singalongs. The highlight of the first half was a series of cheeky, tongue-in-cheek numbers covering everything from taking a day off work to the vampiric hobbies of Nosferatu.
The second half opened with a surprisingly heartfelt song about the troubled romantic life of an air guitarist, before Helm turned his attention to his television career. He joked about appearances on shows like 8 Out of 10 Cats (clarifying it’s not the Countdown version — “I love Susie Dent too much,” he quipped) and reflected on being “blacklisted” by certain networks in a typically self-deprecating style. He also mused on his much-loved but short-lived sitcom Uncle, discussing the creative challenges that followed its cancellation.
CREDIT: Lucas Ward
The final section of the show centred on Helm wanting to make up for lost time with his family by organising a group holiday — which ended up becoming a ten-day trip to Portugal for just him and his mother. His stories about her “external internal monologue” and her confusion over holiday schedules had the audience in tears of laughter.
One of the most striking aspects of Helm’s performance is the way he plays with a deliberately gruff stage persona, interacting with audience members just enough to keep the energy sharp and funny without crossing the line. But beyond the bluster, Helm is at his best when he leans into sincerity, which he does as the show draws to a close. He speaks openly about his mental health journey, his diagnoses and treatment, and highlights the work of the men’s mental health charity Andy’s Man Club.
