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5 Things They Don’t Tell You Before Your First Festival (Before You Even See A Stage)

26 August 2017 Featured Fun Music Interviews Music Reviews


Heading into Creamfields for my first ever festival, anxiety levels were peaking. Had I packed enough food? Had I packed too much food? Would I die of starvation? Everyone gives you the same advice: stay hydrated, plenty of suncream and get a proper tent.

There is so much they miss out. Here are seven things they don’t tell you before going into your first festival, before you even see a stage.

Don’t Bring A Suitcase

I very nearly made this mistake. Packing the huge amount of stuff I did, I probably could have done with a suitcase. Apparently I wasn’t alone. Somebody I came with packed himself a suitcase and once we were on site instantly regretted it. He was immediately heckled with comparisons to Will McKenzie from The Inbetweeners.

You need to be a god at real life Tetris to fit everything in the car.

When four people pack desperately for a four day trip to Creamfields, you wouldn’t think it’d take up much room in a massive seven seater. Yet, there we were 7 o’clock in the morning, play real life Tetris. It’s also like playing Jenga trying to get the important stuff out first.

Don’t trust technology

Google maps is the reason I have trust issues. I’ll never forget walking around Manchester in circles for hours a couple years back. Apparently long drives Satnav’s are the same. Even if it does get vaguely in the right direction, more often than not it’s not accounting for scheduled road closures near the festival grounds. Always leave extra time because your faulty satnav will have you redirecting a few times.

There’s no escape from wiffy banter

Some people are fortunate to have festivals on their doorstep. Others have to travel hours in cramped cars – putting up with each other’s patter. On the way to Creamfields this weekend, for every one of my “who sings this song…should we keep it that way” whenever anyone would sing along to the radio, the driver would come out with facts about the style of brick work in the housing estates we passed.

Putting up your tent is the number one first world problem.

I just about remember ‘camping’ in the back garden as a child. I’ve literally never camped as an adult and that was all too evident as I attempted to put up my tent. Without the help of two more experienced festival goers, the two of us first-timers would have probably gave up at the point of putting those pole things together. It was like prom all over again, except at least I had wifi at home to watch YouTube tutorials on how to tie a tie.


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